sometime's life is a bitch

2005-02-05T20:10:00.000+08:00

this blog is no longer in use. pls visit it a few days ltr!
--under constrution--

2005-01-21T21:43:00.000+08:00

hellos!
haven update my blog fer ages!
poor blog :/
anws, went shopping with jocelyn and joanna today.
bought new roxy slippers.
happy:)
didnt manage to find
dat sling bag sat i saw dat day,
so couldnt buy.

anw, after i went home
mum and i wanted to bring shannon
fer a walk at de garden.
so we told him ang he was so damn happy.
so we leashed him and wen to press fer de lift.
den two lifts came up at de same time,
but de one in front of me was going down.
but i was being nosey and wanted to see who was tat,
so i waited fer de person to come put,
it was my neighbour,
so we say hi
and just when i was abt to go into de lift
de lift door closed
but shannon was till inside and he was leash!!!!!!!!!!

i was like oh my god!
i mean he's stuck!
so i wen into de 2nd lift
but fuck!
it wasnt workin.
so my mum told me to run down de stairs
i was screaming and all my neighbours came out
to see wat happened
so i kept runnin but it was only de 7th floor.
so i stopped and wanted to take de lift.
den i saw de 1st lift comin up!
and dad was caryying shannon!
i ran home and den he told
us tat he was there and saw shannon all alone in de lift!
so damn lucky!
thank god tat he wasnt injured.

now i feel so guilty! :/
sighs..
tml got tuition and meet to saty at home to do hmwk!
nvm, shall be a good girl fer once!:D
gtg now.
not sure wen's de next update!

ltr`

_____shopping!

2004-12-11T23:03:00.000+08:00

here to update.
went shopping today!
:))
bought lotsa stuff.
boyght an elle tee, roxy top,
op 3/4, 4 pairs of earrings,
new billabong wallet &
de pop princess book!
nice:)
de book's nicee too!
shopped de whole day,
tired.
kal's a happy girl!

ltr`

_____screams!

2004-12-03T21:37:00.000+08:00

arghhhhh!
screammmms!
haven been updating fer sometime; no time in fact.
life has been stressful fer de past weeks!
lotsa probs.
all his fault!
hmph! :/
anw, went out wif drey and mel today.
was fun la, did lotsa shopping! :)
we saw de apple ipod mini; I WANT!
mel's darling is gonna get it fer her!
so nice rite?
haix.
if only he wld be a bit more considerate.
hopefully some kind soul wld buy fer me! ;P
haha. mayb santa! hohoho/
mum wants me to take up chinese tuition,
she says tat my chinese is veri bad.
at least i can score a b3!
she still not happy :/
chinese yikes!
sigh.
gtg now

ltr`

___leaf departure!

2004-11-05T23:23:00.000+08:00

hayys
here a story
nicee!
read! :))

Look out!"
Joan turned but it was too late. The water bomb had splashed right into her face. She winced. That was cold, she thought. She reached out to wipe the water from her face. She and her friends were at Cindy's birthday party. The games had been fun, but tiring as well. She was glad when it was time to head for the refresments.
"Hey Joan!" Cindy called out.
Joan turned and saw Cindy dragging a 16 year old teenager behind her.
"Let me introduce my brother to you.He's Jason." she said.
Joan turned to look at the stranger for the first time. She gasped. Wasn't this the guy who had teased her everyday when he met her? She was stunned. "You..," was all she could manage to say.
But Jason grinned at her," So this is your friend. I think we met before, haven't we, Joan?"
Joan just stared at Cindy and her brother, nodding her head slowly.
"Oh, if that's the case, i shall leave you two to talk among yourselves," Cindy replied, walking away to entertain the rest of the guests.
"So..hi.," Jason said and smiled, showing his perfect set of white teeth.
"Oh, hello," Joan replied.She took her time to look at Jason. He had a set of deep blue coloured eyes, which reminded her of the ocean. He was tall and had blonde hair. Everything about him matched completely. He seemed..perfect. Too perfect. She would have believed in love at first sight if she didn't have a boyfriend. Too bad she did. And she wasn't going to show Jason that she was interested in him in any way.
"Got to go," Joan turned and left the party.
*****
The sunlight shone into her room. Joan woke up. School was starting again, and the summer holidays were over. No more daydreaming, she thought. Walking into the hall, she picked up the phone and dialed her boyfriend, Andy's number.
"Hello?"
"Hey, Andy?" Joan said.
"Um..Joan? What's up?"
"Can you pick me up in fifteen minutes time?"
"Huh?"
"I thought u said that you wanted to go to school with me today..?"
"Oh. Yeah. I sort of um, forgot. Something cropped up. Sorry honey."
Without another word, Andy hung up.
Well, that was weird, Joan thought. But she ignored that feeling as she believed Andy when he said that something had cropped up. She went to bathe, then she went to school by herself.
On reaching the school gate, she spotted a car that seemed familar to her. The car went into the school and parked itself in an empty spot. Andy got out of the car. Joan smiled and was about to call him when he went over to the passenger's seat and opened the door. A girl dressed in a sweater and a mini skirt stepped out. Joan gasped as the scene continued in front of her. Andy took the girl by her hand and they kissed each other. Joan could not believe what was going on. Is this a dream, or is this for real? She thought as she pinched herself. Ouch, that hurt, she thought. Knowing that she would have to confront Andy sooner or later, she walked up to the couple. Andy saw her and was shocked.
"I demand an explaination." Joan looked at him sternly.
"I--"
"So now you have seen it, and you should know what it means. He wants to break up with you. Get it?" The girl beside Andy interruped.
Joan was speechless. But knowing that she could not do anything about it, she just glared at Andy and ran away.
She ran, not knowing where she was heading to. She just kept running in the hallway. People stared at her. She knew why. Tears were streaming down her crimson cheeks. Her eyes were red and she looked unsightly. She saw a girls' toilet and went inside. Luckily for her, it was empty and she would not have to face any more stares for now. She washed her face and looked into the mirror.
"Joan, you're such a fool. You could have known that Andy is such a freak and he was cheating on you all the time. How could you have fallen into this dumb trap without knowing it?" She said to her reflection.
But the reflection just stared back at her. It gave no reply, and no expressions to show that it was angry. The tears came back.
*****
Joan stepped out of the toilet, feeling refreshed. She turned a corner and nearly banged into Jason.
"Whoa! Watch where you're going, will ya--" Jason stopped in mid sentence when he noticed that it was Joan. "Oh, hey, what's up?" Jason looked at Joan's gloomy face.
"Something happened?" He asked.
But Joan just turned and walked to her class.
*****
It was the last period.Jason couldn't concentrate in class. What was wrong with Joan? Why did she have to avoid him everytime? Maybe she already knew that he had fallen for her. But it was impossible. So far, Jason had not given out any hints to show that. Well, who knows? He thought. Humans are weird. He took out his notebook.
"Dear diary,
I am feeling troubled. I met her again today at the hallway. She looks kind of..sad. I wished I could help her in any way. But she seems to be avoiding me every time. I wished that i could hug her and tell her that everything is gonna be okay. But i can't do that. She doesn't feel the same way towards me like what i feel towards her. It's one-sided love. I want to be with her. Will that dream ever come true one day?"
He closed the notebook. School was over. He picked up his bag and drove home.
*****
Jason rushed to his room and turned on his computer. Everyday after school, he would never fail to see his pen-pal, "Candy Dreams" online. He had never met her before, but she had been a good friend to him all these while.
[Dotty] says: Hi!
[Candy Dreams] says: Hi! I've been waiting for you to come online.
[Dotty] says: Haha..first time hearing you say that.
[Candy Dreams] says: Anyway..i and my boyfriend broke up..
[Dotty] says: Huh? What happened? Are you feeling okay?
[Candy Dreams] says: I wished i hadn't been so childish to have liked him in the first place..
[Dotty] says: Don't be silly. You didn't know this would happen anyway.
[Candy Dreams] says: But i feel so stupid..I can't seem to forget him.
[Dotty] says: You just have to remember..time heals all wounds..
[Candy Dreams] says: Thanks..i really appreciate that.
[Candy Dreams] says: Anyway, enough about me. So what's going on between you and your dream girl?
[Dotty] says: Well..i met her again today.
[Candy Dreams] says: And?
[Dotty] says: Same old thing. She avoided me. But i couldn't help noticing how sad she looked.
[Candy Dreams] says: Maybe she doesn't know how you feel about her..i think you should tell her.
[Dotty] says: No, I dun plan to tell her. I rather things remain this way..
[Dotty] says: I feel that..Just as long as she is happy, I will feel the same way.To me, love is about happiness.I just want to be a friend to her..
[Candy Dreams] says: Whoa, I'd feel lucky if i were her..She has no idea how great you are..
[Candy Dreams] says: I wished my boyfriend was like that..
[Dotty] says: True love will come to you one day too. Dun worry..
[Candy Dreams] says: Hope so. Anyway, gtg. Cya!
[Dotty] says: Cya!
[Candy Dreams has logged off]
*****
Joan felt better. Maybe time really would heal all wounds. She reached into her drawer and took out her diary.
"Dear Diary,
I feel alot better after talking to my friend. Sometimes i feel that he's like a soul mate to me. Well anyway, maybe things will get alot better. It isn't time for me to brood about this stuff anymore. I have to forget about Andy. Actually, you know what? I have a little feeling for Jason too. But i'm not gonna go into another relationship so soon..And i can't gurantee than Jason feels the same way. Who knows what will happen in the future?"
*****
Jason stepped into the school, feeling fresh after a morning bath. He walked up to his classroom, meeting Joan on the way. To his suprise, she smiled at him, showing a perfect pair of dimples. Jason grinned and fluffed her hair as they walked past each other. He continued on his way, smiling to himself all the time. He felt warm. She had actually smiled at him! It was such a great feeling to know that he had actually existed in Joan's life.
During break time, Jason saw Joan and decided to strike up a conversation to see whether she would respond.
"Um..so..hi," Jason stammered.
"Hey!" Joan greeted cheerfully, laughing as she did so.
Jason felt suprised and warm at her friendly greeting. She looks so cute when she laughs, he thought.
"Care to eat with me?" Jason asked hopefully
"Sure!" was Joan's joyful response.
*****
After eating his dinner, Jason went to his room and took out his notebook.
"Dear Diary,
I had a great lunch today. Perhaps that was because of her presence. She smiled at me for the first time today.. I felt warm. It makes me more unwilling to confess my true feelings to her as i am afraid that she would avoid me. I rather she treat me this way, just like a close friend whom she can share her thoughts to. I don't want to do something that I will regret later. Maybe it would be best if the situation remains like this.."
Jason closed his notebook silently. The day after would be international friendship day. He decided to buy a present for Joan.
*****
"Hi!" Joan called out.
Jason turned around.
"Hey girl," He grinned.
Joan smiled. He had no idea how his heart-stopping grin seem to be of a comfort to her.
"So, what's going on?" Joan asked.
"Haha, same old thing. I can't figure out a thing the algebra teacher is talking about."
"Did u always have a problem with algebra? You could have told me earlier!"
"Don't tell me i'm talking to an algebra expert?" Jason asked.
"Haha.. Well, i wouldn't call myself that. But i get As for my algebra. It's my favourite subject."
"Hey! That's cool! Would you be willing to teach me?"
"Sure! In fact, I'm free after school today. You?"
"Me too. Meet you in the library after school?"
"Okay. See ya later then," Joan replied.
They then parted, walking different directions towards their classrooms.Suddenly, Jason turned around.
"Hey," He called out.
"Yeah?" Joan turned.
"Thanks..for being such a friend. I really appreciate that,"
"Hey, you're a great friend yourself too," Joan smiled.
They continued on their own way. Maybe there is hope for both of us..? No, I shouldn't be thinking like this. But..i actually have the feeling that i miss him.. Joan thought. Clutching her books tightly towards her chest, she walked into the classroom, put her things down and took out her diary.
"Dear Diary,
What is going on? What is wrong with me..? Why is it that I long to be with him but yet i am trying my best not to like him..? Is this love? I wished he was here right now, beside me. I want to be with him so badly, but he seems to treat me only as a close friend. That's all. A close friend. I want to be someone more than a close friend to him. But maybe that is not so possible afterall.."
*****
"Dear Diary,
Is that all i reallie mean to her? A 'great friend' ? I want to be more than a great friend to her. But it seems that she only treats me as a friend. I don't know how to tell her how much i want to be with her. Maybe waiting would be my only option.. Is this love?"
Jason rested his head on his hands and re-read the entry he had just written into his notebook. He sighed. Maybe love isn't so great afterall..
*****
Joan waved at Jason to signal him to come over to the table she was sitting at. Jason jogged over and pulled out a chair to make himself comfortable.
"Had a great lunch?" Joan asked.
"Yeah.."
"Okay.. I guess we can start on our work then," Joan said.
Throughout the whole afternoon, Joan spent her time explaining to Jason and teaching him all the problems which he didn't know how to solve. She was disappointed when it was time to go home. But she refused to show her true feelings to Jason and put on a brave front instead.
"So..if you have any other questions..feel free to find me," She smiled.
"Thanks," Jason answered.
They left the library, each going their own seperate way.
*****
Joan rushed to her room, dumped her bag aside, and turned on her computer. Dotty was online! She couldn't wait to tell him what had happened recently.
[Candy Dreams] says: Hey!!
[Dotty] says: Hi!
[Candy Dreams] says: Sorry I'm late..
[Dotty] says: Haha, no problem, I just signed in not long ago too.
[Candy Dreams] says: Okay..
[Dotty] says: So what's up?
[Candy Dreams] says: I seem to have fallen for someone else...
[Dotty] says: That's great. Maybe that person would treat your better than how your ex did..
[Candy Dreams] says: I don't even know whether he feels the same way..
[Dotty] says: Hey, remember the advice you gave me? Why don't you tell the guy?
[Candy Dreams] says: Me? No way. I wouldn't want to break a friendship.
[Dotty] says: But did you give him any hints?
[Candy Dreams] says: Nah.. I think he only treats me as a close friend..
[Dotty] says: Don't be so sad..
[Candy Dreams] says: I'm alright. Thanks.. I gtg anyway. I'm tired. Off to sleep!=)
[Dotty] says: Haha..maybe you should be called Candy Pig huh?
[Candy Dreams] says: Hey! Too tired to argue with you anymore. Good night!
[Candy Dreams has logged off]
Joan smiled to herself. Sometimes, Dotty had such humour that she was unable to resist. He would always make her smile even after a tired day. Time to sleep, she thought.
*****
Jason clutched the present tightly in his hand. It was International friendship day and he had gotten a present for Joan. He made his way to her classroom.
"Joan?"
She turned. Jason was standing at the doorway of her classroom.
"Hey. Nice to see ya," she responded.
"So um..here's a present for you. Friends forever.."
Joan was suprised. She had gotten a present for Jason too.
"Wait here," she told him.
Awhile later, Joan returned, holding a box tied with a silver ribbon.
"Here," she said.
They exchanged their presents with each other.
"Thanks for being such a good friend to me. Friends forever..," Joan smiled at Jason.
Once again, Jason was struck by her smile. He jus stared at her with a kind of sadness in his eyes. This girl can never be mine, he thought. He grinned at Joan and waved goodbye to her before going back to his classroom.
*****
Joan returned to her seat. She stared at the lavender box in her hand. What could be in it? she thought. opening the box, she saw a silver bracelet lying among the soft cotton. She picked it up. It's beautiful, she thought. She gazed at it for awhile before putting it back into the box. Taking out her diary, she wrote:
"Dear Diary,
He gave me a bracelet. And it's..reallie beautiful..I hope he likes the present i gave him too.. But i don't understand. Does he just treat me as a friend? I want to be more than a friend to him. But it's so hard to tell him. I just seem to lose my words when looking at him. He's my angel. My love. But he'll never get to know that..I'll never find the courage to tell him.."
The teacher came in. Joan closed her book quickly and put in in her bag. Who is this cute guy beside the teacher? She thought. Awhile later, the guy was introduced as Dave. He had just transferred from another school and Joan was assigned to help him around the school. Thus, Dave was to sit beside her. The other girls stared at Joan with envy. But Joan..her thoughts were all filled of Jason..
*****
"Dear Diary,
She gave me a wallet. That was sweet of her. I love the present she gave me..i hope she likes the one i gave her too..I don't understand. Does she treat me only as a friend? She means much more to me than that. But she doesn't know. And she never will..cos i won't have the courage to tell her.."
*****
Just as Joan was walking down the hallway, a voice stopped her.
"Um..hi."
She turned her head. Wasn't that Dave?
" Hey. You got problems with your work?"
"Er..actually yea.sort of.Are u able to go thru some notes with me tomorrow?"
"Tomorrow..yea i think i'll be free."
"Okay..we'll study at my house? My parents will be home, so don't worry."
"Haha.I'm not gonna worry with an honest guy like you. Cya tomorrow then!"
Joan walked off.
Dave stared at her. She's wonderful, he thought. And i'm in love with her.
*****
Joan threw her bag onto the bed and turned on the computer immediately.
A new contact had added her.
"Who's this guy..?" She said to herself.
dave_jones@hotmail.com
Sounds familar, she thought.
[Dave] says: Hey..are u Joan?
[Candy Dreams] says: Yea..u are Dave?
[Dave] says: Haha. The one and only.
[Candy Dreams] says: Okae. So how did u get my add?
[Dave] says: Well. thru a senior..
[Candy Dreams] says: Haha, well okae. these things happen all the time anyway.
[Dave] says: So are u still on for tomorrow?
[Candy Dreams] says: Yea sure. I'm supposed to help u anyway.
[Dave] says: Ok. Hey look, i gtg. Cya tomorrow then.
[Candy Dreams] says: Yep..cya.good nite.
[Dave has logged off]
[Dotty has logged on]
[Candy Dreams] says: Hiyahh~
[Dotty] says: Heyyz.
[Candy Dreams] says: Haha. I had a great day and i'm soo happie!!
[Dotty] says: Hmm..looks like something happened huh.
[Candy Dreams] says: He gave me a present!!
[Dotty] says: Sounds familar..haha..anyway, what is it?
[Candy Dreams] says: Secret..
[Dotty] says: Oh well.Haha.Hmm..Candy?
[Candy Dreams] says: Yeah?
[Dotty] says: Do you want to meet up?
[Candy Dreams] says: Um..well..i'm nort sure..u want?
[Dotty] says: I'm not sure too..but i reallie want to meet up with u.
[Candy Dreams] says: Me too. Well in that case..how about next wednesday?
[Dotty] says: No problem. Meet at?
[Candy Dreams] says: Hmm..you know that place Dolphino?8pm?
[Dotty] says: Yeah sure. I gtg. See you soon..
[Candy Dreams] says: Haha.I'm looking forward to meeting u too. See ya..
[Dotty has logged off]
*****
Joan stood at the steps of Dave's house, clutching her books. She pressed the bell. Dave opened the door.
"Hey," Joan said.
"Well, come in."
Dave led Joan to the living room, where his parents were at.
"Hi auntie and uncle," Joan greeted them politely.
They smiled at her and nodded.
"So where are we supposed to study?" Joan asked Dave.
"At the dining room. Come on."
They walked to the dining room and sat down. Then, Joan taught Dave all the subjects which he had problems in. The time passed quickly and it was time for Joan to leave.
"Bye. See you in school tomorrow," Joan said and left his house.
Dave, you're so stupid, you could have asked her to stay awhile more, he thought. Oh well.
*****
[Candy Dreams has logged on]
[Dave] says: Hi!
[Candy Dreams] says: Hey.
[Dave] says: Um..i got something to tell you.
[Candy Dreams] says: Haha, what is it?
[Dave] says: Well um..
[Candy Dreams] says: Yeah?
[Dave] says: I..i like you.
[Candy Dreams] says: Huh?
[Dave] says: I know you probably don't feel the same way..But i reallie like u alot and i'm gonna try to win your heart..i hope you won't stop me..cya.
[Candy Dreams] says: Well..
[Dave has logged off]
What's going on? Joan thought. Is he kidding or what? I just knew him a few days ago and he likes me? Is that a joke? Well. Guys.
*****
Jason went to his room to do his homework. When he sat down at his chair, he suddenly remembered that he left his pen with his sister. He went to her room to take it.
Seeing that his pen was on her table, he decided that he didn't need her permission to take something that was his. He was just about to leave when a piece of paper on the desk caught his attention. He picked it up.
candy_dreams@hotmail.com
Isn't that..
No it couldn't be.
But..how did my sis know candy dreams? He thought.
Wanting to solve this unanswered question, he took the piece of paper and went to the living room to ask his sister.
"Cindy!" Jason called.
"What's up bro," Cindy replied.
"Who is this person? How did u get her email add?"
"Don't be silly. Isn't that Joan? You know her. She was at my birthday party, remember?" Cindy casually replied.
"Huh? That Joan? Oh..thanks." Jason returned the paper to his sister.
He went back to his room and turned on his computer.
No wonder everything that happened to her seemed so familiar to me..but..should i let her know who I am? I don't want to. I want to take hold of this chance to get to know her better..But..we're supposed to meet next week..what should i do..? Jason was lost in his thoughts.
[Candy Dreams has logged on]
[Dotty] says: Hey..
[Candy Dreams] says: Hiyahhz
[Dotty] says: Um..i don't think i'll be able to meet u next week..I'm going out..
[Candy Dreams] says: Oh..in that case..it's alright..
[Dotty] says: I'm sorry..
[Candy Dreams] says: It's reallie okay. We can always find some other time to meet up rite?
[Dotty] says: Um well..i'll be kind of busy for the next few months..
[Candy Dreams] says: Okay then..we'll talk about it again when you're free..
[Dotty] says: Okay..
[Candy Dreams] says: Yeah..
[Dotty] says: Why aren't u talking..?
[Candy Dreams] says: I'm just kind of disappointed..but it's okay reallie.
[Dotty] says: Oh..
[Dotty] says: Well, never mind. I think i will be able to meet u afterall.
[Candy Dreams] says: Huh?
[Dotty] says: Um..i jus remembered that it's thursday i'm going out on. Shesh.i can get pretty forgetful sometimes u know..
[Candy Dreams] says: Really?That's great!=).Hey, i gotta go. Cya! Night.
[Candy Dreams has logged off]
"Dear Diary,
I feel like such a liar.But i still had to meet her in the end. I can't bear to see her upset. It reallie hurts. It makes me sad to see her disappointed like just now.. Anyway it's just a meeting with her right? Why am i being such a coward? But..i don't want her to know. I reallie want to get to know her well.."
*****
Dave entered the classroom with a box of chocolates in his hands. He smiled at Joan and passed her the box.
"Huh? Is that for me?" Joan asked.
"Yep.Hope u'll accept it."
"But..i can't.."
"Please..just give me a chance to prove that i can love u like anyone else does..," Dave said sincerely, looking at Joan.
"Oh well..Okay.."
Joan felt touched. Was this how it felt like to be loved by someone else? She smiled gratefully at him.
"Dear Diary,
It's been a few days since i last saw Jason. I wonder what he's doing right now..? Dave is being pretty sweet to me. He's a nice guy. Well, i'm not considering anything though. Am i? Nah..don't think so. I'm meeting Dotty tomorrow. I'm so excited. I've known him for a year and tomorrow will be the first time i'm meeting him. Hope everything goes well.."
"Joan?"
Joan quickly shut her book.
"Yea?" She said to Dave.
"Are you free tonight? Do you want to go watch a movie?"
"Um well..alright." Joan decided that there couldn't be much harm done in watching a movie with Dave.
"I'll pick u up at 7pm then?"
"Yep."
*****
A car arrived outside Joan's house at 7pm sharp. The doorbell rang and Joan ran to open the door. "Hey, you're punctual!" She commented. Dave led Joan to the car. They soon reached the cinema. But everything passed quickly and they had watched finish the touching romance movie. Dave sent her home.
"Dear Diary,
Is it possible that I like Dave? He makes me feel wanted. Makes me feel loved. I don't feel like waiting for Jason anymore when there's someone like Dave who is willing to spent his time loving me. But.I don't know.How am i supposed to feel now? I'm confused ever since Dave came into my life.. Sometimes i feel that i like him. But sometimes i miss Jason.Alot.I don't know.."
Joan sighed.It's so hard to tell my own feelings, she thought.
[Dave has logged on]
[Dave] says: Hi
[Candy Dreams] says: Hiya
[Dave] says: Um.
[Candy Dreams] says: ?
[Dave] says: Can you be my girlfriend?
[Candy Dreams] says: Um..
[Dave] says: I know u need time to decide.I'll give u time.But please give me a chance..
[Candy Dreams] says: Okay..how bout trying out? I know it's not reallie the same but i'm sort of confused right now..maybe trying out will help solve this.
[Dave] says: If that's what u want..alright..but i'm happy as long as you're willing to do that.
[Candy Dreams] says: Kae.i gtg.. Cya tml.
[Candy Dreams has logged off]
What have i done? She thought. Do i reallie like him? Oh well. I've already done it. Nothing can change. Anyway i sort of like him..right? Yea.
*****
The day passed quickly. Finally it was an hour before meeting Dotty. Joan was feeling pretty excited. She decided to go early just to be on the safe side. She had told Dotty her handphone number and told him to call her when he reached. Soon, Joan reached Dolphino.
*****
Jason was driving to Dolphino.He had tried to dial Joan's number to tell him that he might be late but she seemed to have turned off her handphone. He fixed his attention on his handphone instead of the road and dialled her number again. Then, he heard a scream. He looked up from his handphone to see a child standing in the middle of the road. He swerved to avoid hitting him and hit onto a tree. Everything blackened out. He couldn't feel anything..
*****
Joan had been waiting for half an hour now. She was getting impatient but still, she had to wait for Dotty's call. She took out her handphone to see if there were any missed calls. Huh? She thought. She had turned off her handphone without realising it. No wonder there were no calls for her. It's all my fault, she thought. I hope Dotty calls again.
*****
Jason awoke to find himself in a hospital bed. A sharp pain in his leg caused him to wince.
"Quick, find someone with the same blood type as this guy!!" a voice said.
"Wait!" Jason heard himself saying.
The doctor and the nurses stopped in their tracks to look at Jason.
"I know I'm dying soon..don't stop me..I just need a pen and paper..please.." Both items were passed to him a minute later. Using all the strength he had left, he wrote a letter to Joan. After he had finished writing, he gave Joan's number to the nurse and told her to call Joan to the hospital to collect the letter.
Jason felt tired. He decided to go to sleep. Maybe that would stop all the pain. Without realising it, he felt himself drifting apart from the world..
*****
An hour later, Joan was still standing outside Dolphino. Suddenly, her phone rang.
"Hello?" Joan said.
"Is this Joan? I am calling from the hospital. A guy who identifies himself as Jason has asked u to come to the hospital to collect a letter." The voice replied.
"I'll be right over."
*****
Joan walked to the reception counter.
"Hi..I'm Joan. There's supposed to be a letter for me..?"
The nurse on duty looked up.
"Oh yah. Here you go." She passed a piece of paper to Joan.
Joan took it and walked down the corridor, reading the letter..:
"Hey..candy pig..
well..are u suprised that i know this nickname that was given to u by Dotty? I do not want to hide it anymore..i am dotty..i just knew that u were candy dreams a few days ago too. that was why i was so afraid of letting u see who i am..
by the time u received this letter..i probably won't be in this world anymore..i'll be somewhere else..far far away..away from all this pain.it hurts too much to continue living. i have loved u the moment i saw u, Joan. But you onli treated me as a good friend..it hurts. Everytime u say "thanks for being such a good friend", it's like a stab to my heart. I want u to treat me more than a friend. but it's so hard to say so..i have never confessed my feelings to you..for fear of being rejected.now that i'm leaving this world..perhaps it won't be so hard to tell u anymore..
anyway...i heard that you and Dave are going steady. Is that true? If it is..congratulations to u.. maybe you would be happier and more fortunate. Dave would surely treat u better than your ex.I'm happy for u. I told myself..as long as u find your happiness..i will give you my blessings..cos i learnt that loving someone is not about holding on..it's about making her happy. I'm glad that i spent my lifetime knowing you. I have never regretted knowing you because you gave me happiness..a kind of happiness that no one else is able to provide me with..i know u don't feel the same way..but it's okay..i just want u to be happy..
I'll be ending my letter than..bye..my leaf..
From: Jason a.k.a Dotty...=).."
A tear dropped on the paper.
*****
Joan rushed to the reception again.
"Which room is Jason in?" She asked.
"Room 169. But be quick. The doctors are going to carry his body away soon."
Joan ran all the way to Room 169, still clutching the letter. She peered into the glass window that seperated both her and Jason. There he was, lying in the bed. He's not here anymore..she thought.
Wait,i don't understand. Why did he call me his leaf in the letter? Joan thought.
Glancing down on the paper, She saw the small words that was written at the corner of the paper.
"Leaf's departure is because of Wind's pursuit? Or because Tree didn't ask her to stay..?"
She was touched. Two tears rolled down her crimson cheeks.
"Tree didn't ask her to stay.." She whispered.
*****

_______sad to say goodbye

2004-10-30T11:59:00.000+08:00

hayys!
yesterday was de last day of sch!
cries.
am going to 2i nxt yr!
screams!
am separated from most of de 1 integritians.
most of de integritian will be going to de "justice league"
hahas.
realised tat most of de ppl in 2i are from 1grace!
screams!
now i finally really understand de meaning of "cherish it before it's too late"!
cries!
wen towning wid nic today!
told him bout sch.
gt to slp now.

ltr`

______netball

2004-10-25T22:57:00.000+08:00

hayys!
todae had netball tournament.
jy didnt bring pe attire.
sasithorn didnt cum.
we didnt even practice abit.
shit.
we ended up borrowing de pe shirt from bernice and we had to cut our nails to xtreme short length! we played with 1h and lose and den against 1g and we lose!:( 1c won in de end!

got back results, going to 2h nxt yr!:( `cries
but its kinda xpected.
will make yis a short entry, tml still gt camp stuff to do!
gt to oink now!

till then`

_________funfair!

2004-10-23T22:02:00.000+08:00

hayys! finally updating!(:

have been too busy wid fye so didnt have de time to blog.
got back my results, well it wasnt up to my expectations!:/ but i studied real hard fer it! nic said tat my expectations are just too high. haixx.. anyways, no ise crying over spilt milk! cheer up! there's a still a long way to go!

had funfair today. our class did manicure and tattoo services. i was in charge of manincure and had to do everything. i did all de posters and i did the manicure service fer the whole day. blardee tiring.. no one wanted to change shift, so i dint realli get de chance to look ard.. i ended up donating almost all my money to de class. onli manage to go to de haunted house created by de 1 gracians. it was fun! mi and ping2 had free admissions! *grins*de gracians hid under de table and started grabbing our legs! fun! we could roughly see in de dark la, so there was tis 'ghost' wearing de NSL shirt.. she kept on following me and trying to scare me. but instead of being scared, i felt irritated and started wacking her, beating her and kicking her! ahhhh.. because i tot she was anne-marie.. den at de last part where we were abt to leave she came and tried to scare me agn, tis time i strangled her! den laoshi told us some kinda ghost stories which i wasnt listening to. meanwhile i told steph abt de 'ghost' and it ended up to be shok chen! i didnt noe, all tis while, i tot it was anne.. i felt so guilty and i quickly ran out!

when we came back, jiaying and some other ppl oredi left, leaving us behind to clean up fer them and they didnt even contribute a thing! den i counted de money we earned and den me ping2 and jo went down to give de money. we saw xx at de canteen so we wen forward to approach her, as we were walking i realised tat shok chen was sitting nxt to xx and was pointing at me! gosh, i felt even more guilty.. den xx started laughing at me! den me, ping and jo wen to give de money and wen to ps to watch de grudge. de movie was alright la, not veri scaring. den wen hm.
tml, i gonna meet nic and i still have trainind at 7! haixx. gtg to oink now!

till then'

___i hate her!

2004-08-20T23:06:00.000+08:00

I CANT STAND IT! ah! y muz she do such a thing? y muz she copy me? argh.

imagine, someone copying u, she copy wateva u wear, the way u talk, the way u style urself, the type of earings u wear, the type of rubber band u use, the type of specs u wear, the kind of words u use, the way u pose, the things u do, the kind of food u eat and even the way u laugh!!! gosh. she's a clone! she's like a twin of me! i hate it. esp wen she have to copy me, no originality.
not only tat, she copies them too. wat's her fucking problem. argh.. cant stand her.. hope she's reading tis.. =P then i hope she will understand and stop copying me!

'pissed off

___worriEd

2004-08-15T23:03:00.000+08:00

aaaAAAAhhhhHHHH.. i dun wan to go to sch tml!! argh! i'm having monday blues. hate it. haiz.. how? *sobsob* tml gonna have boring history and geog and i've got fencing.. argh.. realli sick of sch, nth's motivating me and yes, ct is round the corner. sighs.. gonna mug for it agn.

well, today dont have class coz' ma'am tinks tat the fireworks comes once in a while so we took a break. yeah. wen to marina south to watch the fireworks, it was marvellous! realli veri nice and majestic. wow.. and it'suberly colourful. wen u sit in the mat and stare into the sky all u see is colourful litlle-star like stuff which seems soooo near to you and it seems like it's gonna fall on u but actually it's veri faraway. it's realli pleasing. then wen back, dad had to pump petrol so wen to the kiosk and bought some dalifrance bread, it's was freshly baked! nice. then wen back. haiz.. realli dun feel like going to school tml. nia mind, face the reality gurl! gtg now, bye..

'till then

___i need to rest!!

2004-08-08T22:54:00.000+08:00

today i stay at home the whole day and i studied!!! i had tuition early in the morning, laoshi called to had it earlier. he called me at 9 ok! then he came over at 10 and i had tuition till 1. then i had my lunch and started studying! great, i'm finally touching my books once agn!

studied from 1.45 to 6pm and was sooo tired to even eat.. so i skipped dinner and wen for taekwondo class. gosh. class was realli realli bad. m'am wanted to train us fot the upcoming championship. we had intense training! we had to wear our sports team jacket over our club shirt and gi top. our normal gi top is oredi veri veri hot and stuffy. then we have to wear the jacket which is veri veri thick! gosh. everyone was like suffering except the juniors. they happily do their basic kicks while we suffer over there like hell.. training was realli tough, but tat's the price we have to pay to go into the nationals. m'am wans us to get national gold tis time round! crazy!! but i realli doubt we can make it. nia mind, dun lose confidence! kam pa teh!

haiz.. now i'm realli beaten off! tml, i'm going out wid joanna to bugis to shop till our head drop coz' it'll be her last time going out bfore ct starts, so we muz satisfy ourselves. k la, i'll end here liao..

'till then

____wheee.. holidays!

2004-08-07T09:53:00.000+08:00

yeah.. it's holidays.. finnaly have a break! yesterady wen to scho for nat' day celebration.. gosh, it's sux! ok, something realli bad happened wen we were taking the photo and everything wen out realli bad, so i'm not going to mention.

then xiao-qing, freda, oa, priya, jia ying and i decided to go to escape. then oa said tat it's oredi half a day so going escape wasn't worthy. so we wen to pasir ris park instead. wen meet up at the terminal at 2.15 and took 403 there. maddy was late so she came by herself. she cycled around and oa's bag kept on dropping! argh..

then we played at the playground.. hahax.. trying to bring back our childhood memories.. hahax.. then we wen to whitesands and brought drinks coz we were uberly thirsty!!! then we were finding the damn atm machine for priya and after 15 mins of searching we found it. but, priya's card got no money! argh.. sighs.. then we headed home.. k la, gonna end here liao..

'till then

____bitched

2004-07-31T21:28:00.000+08:00

finally it's weekend. wen out bitching with joanna and priya. priya had robotics competition so she met up wid us ltr.

it was realli fun. me and joanna met up at 12.05 and then we headed to hereen to buy steph's and amelia's presents. wen to hereen and we tot tat the time was still early so we wen to take neo-prints. the machine was fcuking lousy. it selected a print for us whicj was so damn retarded=(.

then we realised tat it was time to meet priya so we reached out but then she msged me and tolkd us she will be half an hour late. so we wen to cineplex to buy presents. after tat we headed to dg. then we met up wid priya then we wen to bugis. we took train to bugis and then we and shopped ard for steph's present then wen back. priya was exceptionally queit, dunno y.

todae was realli fun! yeah, tml i'm going suntanning wid mi jie! ling's happy! gtg now, bye

'till then

'ffly away

____lost within him

2004-07-30T21:18:00.000+08:00

hey!haven been updating for abt 2 wks=P was too lazy to update! well, tings have been fine. nth much happened. tml will be going out wid priya and joanna agn, to bugis. xiao-qing was suppose to come along but she need to go for the ndp previews. so onli the three of us will be going. and i'm going to sentosa on sun! yeah! haven been there for a mth!=P( no time, no time)

priya was suppose to print out the pw stuff for khoops and hand i to her the first ting in the morning, but she left the diskette in her locker! ahh!! so we had to do it during recess. the 4 of us, sam, me, priya and cris were suppose to do it together but cristalbelle have to her chinese teacher . sick. lame excuse, i bet she jux didnt wan to do. she said tat she will come and see us after tat. fake. she wen and FOR RECESS LOR. she fat ass. then the 3 of us wen to the library and then wen we logged in the the first com, it couldn't print. the 2nd com, cannot log in. at last wen wen to the last com and managed to print out! finally wen we finished, we saw cristalbelle and steph bay at the 1st floor so we asked cris to but food for us but she pretend she cannot hear and she even said no. selfish. not wanting to waste time, sam, priya and i ran all the way up to khoops room which is at the 4th floor =(! ran up there like hell and then we ran to the canteen to buy combo cheeze although recess was over! we were uberly hungry, all thanx to cristalbelle for not wanting to buy the food for us! then we wen for cme class but of coz' mr ng wasnt there so we ate there!

after sch wen home all by myself coz' my buddies had to stay back!:( i saw the cute acsi guy agn. today was suppose to have tuition but i lazy so called him up and cancelled it. wen for the 3.30 cellgrp instead. gosh. he was there. didnt noe tat he attends cellgrp. he uberly cute! bryan is in scouts but he's got a super good dark tann. he stay in the same condo as ignaitious. well, i stop day dreaming bout him here! gtg now.

'till then

'fly away

___had fun!

2004-07-17T23:56:00.000+08:00

finally it was sat!! a long awaited weekend for me! well, woke up at 8.15 tis morning and realised tat it was still so early. so i wanted to continue sleeping but then suddenly rmb muz go sam's house for pw. sick. there goes my sat morning.

went to her house at 10. wen i reached there, priya wasn't even there yet! so me and sam started first. then priya called, so we wen to the bus-syop to pick her up. so was 40 mins late! then we started doing until abt 1.10. we decided to stop. then we started slacking and fooling around. then we suggested tat we should let 'her' do some work since she didn't come. so we called 'her' and told her. dunno if 'she' would do, 'she' better do!

then around 1.35, me and priya left to somerset to meet maddy. we were late!=P we were the last 2 ppl who arrived. wen we reached, onli yiwei, wendy, elis and maddy was there, anne-marie and arthirah wen to buy sum stuff. so we wen to marche first. we ordered rostis and pastas and we were damn full!! then, arthirah and anne-marie came but arthirah didn't wan to eat at marche. so the 2 of them wen to cathay. then wen the rest of us had finished, we wen to cathay to meet the 2 of them. but they haven even started eating!! haiz..

so wen they finally settled down, the rest of us wen to take neo-print while the 1 of them were eating. then we saw jing-wen, she in band! then wen we took the neo-print we kept on shouting and screaming, veri fun! then we wen off to hereen. wen we were crossing the road, anna-marie and athirah kept on go missing. then a man gave us baloon so we tied all the 5 balloons on athirah's bag so tat we noe where she is. we were like playing and screaming at the fountain there. veri funni!

then we wen to take prints again wid anne-marie and arthirah. the machine sux! it can onli capture part of us! so stupid! the pic didnt realli turn out nice. then we walked around hereen trying to find a bag for maddy. nothing seems suitable for her! hahax.. then we wen to taka and wanted to drink coffee bean but then it was getting late so we wen back la.

then on our way back, we were at the escalator there, got a middle-age lady she fell wen she was standing ont he escalator! luckily her husband was there! hahax.. then we wen back.. me, priya, anne-marie and athirah took the same train back.. maddy took the nsl home lor.. todae was indeed fun! =)k.. got to go now..

'till then

____she is such a bitch

2004-07-16T20:12:00.000+08:00

haiz.. some people's mouth are just so big. they dunno how to mind their own fucking business. bitch. hate her like hell. she and her bitchy sister ought to die! freak. hate them. nvm, tis ppl are juz not educated.

anyway tml going out wid maddie coz' it her birthday! happy birthday maddy! but before tat muz go sam's house to do shity project work. sianz.. have to see da bitch again. nia mind, i juz hurry and get over wid it. well, tis entry is gonna be short so i'll add a fill up.

fill up make me happy!=)

1. WHAT IS YOUR FULL NAME?
Lim KaiLing

2. WHAT COLOUR PANTS ARE YOU WEARING?
blue FBT.

3. WHAT ARE YOU LISTENING TO RIGHT NOW?
The reason.. nice:)

4. WHAT ARE THE LAST 4 DIGITS OF YOUR PHONE NUMBER?
1620

5. WHAT WAS THE LAST THING YOU ATE?
apple

6. IF YOU WERE A CRAYON, WHAT COLOUR WOULD YOU BE?
blue

7. HOW IS THE WEATHER RIGHT NOW?
cooling- it's nite le..

8. LAST PERSON YOU TALKED TO ON THE PHONE?
hazel

9. THE FIRST THING YOU NOTICE ABOUT THE OPPOSITE SEX?
eyes. smileees.

10. DO YOU LIKE THE PERSON WHO SENT YOU THIS?
ya, she' my super duper good fren, stella

11. HOW ARE YOU TODAY?
irritated by bitches.=(

12. FAVOURITE DRINKS?
eh.. orange tea. -glupp*

13. FAVOURITE ALCOHOLIC DRINK
-nahh-

14. FAVOURITE SPORTS?
taekwondo and ice-hockey

15. HAIR COLOUR?
black-brown

16. EYE COLOUR?
blackk.

17. DO YOU WEAR CONTACTS?
yupperdoodleeees.

18. SIBLINGS AND THEIR AGES?
2 sisters. 15 & 18.

19. FAVOURITE MONTH?
oct.. my b'dae =P

20. FAVOURITE FOOD?
anythng swt and chocolateyyy.

21. LAST MOVIE YOU WATCHED?
spider man2..

22. FAVOURITE DATE OF THE YEAR?
my buffday ?

24. ARE YOU TOO SHY TO ASK SOMEONE OUT?
yes. no. dunnoooo.. *doinkk.

25. DO YOU LIKE SCARY MOVIES OR HAPPY ENDING MOVIES BETTER?
bothh.

26. DO U LIKE SUMMER OR WINTER BEST?
winterr. snoww. (:

27. HUGS OR KISSES?
*huggies*

28. RELATIONSHIPS OR ONE NIGHT STANDS?
relationships ?

29. CHOCOLATE OR VANILLA?
choc like d-u-h. yummy stuff.

33. LIVING ARRANGEMENTS?
dunnooo.

34. WHAT BOOKS ARE YOU READING?
txtbks..?

35. FAVOURITE BOARD GAME?
none..?

36. WHAT DID YOU DO LAST NIGHT?
sleep like duh. hahas

37. THE FIRST THING YOU THINK OF WHEN YOU WAKE UP IN THE MORNING?
can i not go skool ? hahas...

38. WAT TYPE OF FLOWER WLD YOU LIKE TO RECEIVE?
daisies or lilies

39. WATS UR FAV CHOC?
any.. saints choc ?
----end----

'till then

___oh my gosh

2004-07-15T20:30:00.000+08:00

everything doesn't seem to be going my way now. i feel so sick of sch. it sux. esp sjc! hate it. hate it.

sometimes i feel there is really no one to turn to.

they say i can tell them,

but it doesnt work that way.

i dunno.

maybe im over reacting.

anyway, wen to plaza sing today to watch spider man2 wid joanna, rachel, steph and cathy. but steph, rachel and cathy wanted to watch meangirls so they wen to watch la. well me and joanna watched spider man coz' i've oredi watched meangirls twice! after movie wen to buy glass bottle for maddie, to fill up the choco wen home was happily filling it uo wen i accidently dropped the whole bottle of glass on the floor! biang! it's gone. got scolded by dad so being so csreless.. haiz, all thanx to my butter fingers!=( now have to go and buy new bottle for maddie before sat. still cant decide if i should go wid maddie on sat, priya is not going so, i will be the one and only 1i gal there! =( anyway i noe y so doesnot wan to go. alright come back to the point, should i go oor not. aiyah, i tink i'll go la. maddie's my buddy!=)

sad. sad. haiz, feeling realli realli down nowadays. firstly because of her, her and hER! hate the bitch like hell!!! dun talk abt her le.. secondly because not enough sleep, only got 8 hrs of sleep a day! haiz.. thirdly, because sch sux! hate it.

I always thought
If i could hold on
to what i want
It will surely be in
my hands one day.
It was my belief.
But i neva know if
it was possible.
Coz i've been holding
on so long.
And things still doesn't
seemed to be going
on with my way.
Now that i am confused
with wat i want.
I just yearn to.
Fly away.
far far away.

[[i wanna fly away*]]

___fencing was funnn!!

2004-07-12T18:09:00.000+08:00

today early in the morning the veri first 2 periods was HISTORY!! gosh, i'm telling u i hate mr ng like hell.. he is soooooo damn crazy, boring, naggy.. gosh he suck! i hate him, i dun even noe wat time hell he's talking abt.. he seems like mr. chew no.2! hahax.. then i hate geog which was oso boring.. sian everything is boring!!

finally school ended! then i wen for fencing...

k, tis may sound realli dumb but for the first time in history, fencing was realli fun!!enjoyed myself alot.. well, we wen for photo-taking and then we did warm-up. mr. alex could not make it for class today for the seniors took over. they wanted us to do footwork and mindy also wanted to do footwork but then we were like whinning and gumbling then stella let us play.

michelle nia come for training. so at first stella wanted to play dog & bone or basketball, but then alot of ppl objected tat's y we ended up playing captain's ball.. yeaH!! fun. then michelle came in and joined us. it was a match between the seniors and the juniors but to be fair, michelle joined us hahax. but they actually wanted to split us into 2 different groups and they purposely split mi and cris up--mean! but then michelle disagreed and we too, disagreed for we ended up junior vs seniors.

at the start of the game i kept on stepping on ppl's foot!=P, dunno y..!! then i got whacked but mindy, ursula,melissa and alot of of ppl la.. they juz hit u like nobody's business, especially MINDY!! gosh, she is sooooooo damn vioLent!! then the score was 11/9 we lost the seniors won but then we continued the game after the break and it was realli fun..

then in the end we won!! yeah! then at 4.30 mr chew gave a boring lecture and we had to go to sji for some stupid fencing stuff but thank god it's in august.. then, me, cris, esther and kim wanted to continue playing but the seniors were sooooo tired and they were veri restless.. mindy was complaining and complaining so in the end, after a good 15mins of discussion, we decided to go home..

well, tis is the best fencing training i ever had!! LOVE IT' i tink afterall, 'audreygal' is not tat bad, she is not tat proud as i use to tink she is.. k, anyway gtg now..

'till then

___finally ct is over

2004-07-10T21:29:00.000+08:00

wen out wid freda, xiao-qing and joanna yesterday. we wen to causeway to watch meangirls. me, oa and xq wen back home and then headed for school. we waited for freda for half an hour!!! then we rushed down to the bus-stop but the 161 huz left..
waited for a long time before the bus came.

we were talking abt sec 1 camp veri funni hahax=P. we were suppose to watch the 4.15 show but at 4.15 we were still in the bus so wen we alighted we ran to the cinema and bought the tickets and ran in. but then they were still showing trailers. haiz, waste our efforts. the movie was nice as in it was ok.

then we wen to kfc and ate abit and at 6.30 we wen home. reached home at 7.15 and was too sleepy to write so wrote a post today!=P

today, was suppose to watch spiderman wid oa and the rests but she could not make coz' she last minute got table-tennis so didn't go. wen out wid mad and priya instead.wen to watch meangirls again. it's not tat i'm obsessed wid it, it's juz tat i didnt wan to stay at home during sat wen ct juz ended.

so we wen to cathay and we were suppose to catch the 11.05 movie but mad came late so had to watch the 1.05 show. we wen to pasta maniac to eat after much decision the we wen to take neo-prints and then wen to watch the movie. after tat we wen to hereen and there, i still could not find a suitable prsent for maddie so we wanted to go far-east but maddie wanted to go taka so we wen there.

wen to kinokoniya and then priya bought brownie and there gt nth to buy so we wen to far east and we saw racha- second time seeing her oredi. anyway, priya suggested tat mad should get a friendship band too so after choosing the bands for 30mins or so we 3 finally bought the bands and then it was getting late and maddie had to go so she wen back and me and priya wen to tangs. she bought a spongebob waterbottle!! and she said she's gonna bring it to sch, hahax. then i thought of filling up a bottle wid the black & white m&m chocolate. so we wen to cpp and i bought 17 packets of m&ms!! then priya wen to starbucks to met her mother and i wen back on my own.

k, tink tis entry is super long. gonna stop here.

'till then